If I were asked to give a message to parents, without hesitation I would say, ‘Please don’t treat your kid as a miniature adult. We should allow our kids to be kids.’ But we are falling in this trap without realizing that. A kid needs direction, leadership and clarity from parents, not same treatment as meted out to an adult. We can’t have a heart to heart talk with a kid and expect an adult like understanding in return. That doesn’t mean we should not explain things to kids or shun a culture of dialogue and debate. By all means, we should encourage kids to communicate with us on any topic but we should not expect adult like response from kid.
A kid doesn’t have so much experience, expertise and data to access a situation and take right decisions. Here the leadership role of parents become important. We should guide our kids, make them see things in perspective and help them solving a problem. But train your kids to be a leader too. Especially in fun activities. Let them guide you. Do what they told you to do. Let kids decide about their clothes, toys and other matters.
Most of the families have a single child. So a kid is thrown into adult company most of the times. No doubt a kid imbibes the adult behavior and way of talking. Sooner or later the kid start taking and behaving like an adult. You might consider your child smart but the reality is he/she is missing out on a lot of spontaneity, curiosity and creativeness, the hallmarks of childhood. We should allow our kids to make friends with other kids. They need other kids to feel like a kid. These days we don’t welcome other’s kids in our house. It seems as a great hassle. But imagine this, one day our kids are going to step out into the real world and deal with different types of people. Why not start this process early? We should allow our kids to indulge in different constructive activities with other kids. This way they will learn the rules of management first hand. They will learn interpersonal skills and how to manage the resources given to them.
If we keep on treating kids like adults and expect “desirable results” from kids they will start walking, talking, dressing up and behaving like adults. We won’t find big deal till it is confined to behavior. If we treat our kids as miniature adults, they will show the symptoms of anxiety, depression, panic, worries just like adults.
Its totally uncool to treat our kids as miniature adults. Try organizing something with neighborhood kids. My friends suggested that I can throw a dance party with no additional frills. My friends also suggested that I can throw cakes, sandwich or Diwali Cards making party. Kids will learn to make things and enjoy themselves.
I allow my kid to take bath in the balcony in her tub. Sometimes my kid makes sandcastle. Yesterday she made a road of sand, leading to a mall in the balcony. We get drenched in the rain and listen to songs while having lunch or dinner.
Sometimes I try to treat her as a miniature adult but its results were never to my likings. Its impact on my kids personality is not good too. So I try to check this habit of mine and try to follow the way our parents and grandparents raised us.