Monthly Archives: October 2004

She and Them

I was watching a Talk show on some channel. The issue was corruption. They had roped in the most upbeat officer of that time as the guest. The show was moving on smoothly. Nothing new was being said. Everyone was being politically correct. Two guys in the prime of their youth, were arguing, “Nothing can be done. Corruption is so widespread. Blah! Blah! Blah! Blah! Blah!” Suddenly the chief guest, the same upright official, remarked, “You don’t have any warm blood left in your body. Tumhara Khoon Thandha ho gaya hai!” The guys blushed and remained quiet throughout the whole programme.

I could not forget that remark. Who will like to subject oneself to such an observation.
Recently one of my acquaintances has locked horn with an ex-maharaja (I have seen the ex-maharaja’s palace in a glossy magazine. Just to get a tour of that palace, many will feel fortunate and blessed.) on the tax matters or rather on evading taxes. Maharaj’s CA was dumbfounded that a girl (who has forgotten to complete her full five feet height) fresh from civil services exams has the guts to refuse to meet His Majesty! I kept on pondering what separate those youths from that girl. The trios probably have the middle class background and completed their schooling from some Kendriya Vidayalaya! She too can be sane, practical, down to earth, amass wealth, float in luxury like other bureaucrats. She too can be like the rest of the herd.

I thought secretly, that that’s just the jest of a young recruit; she will toe the line ultimately. But no, with each passing year, she is becoming more ferocious without any sign of slowing down.

I often keep asking question to myself, why most of us are not like her? Sometimes, I think it’s her upbringing that has made the real difference. She has never seen her father getting rich by hook or crook. Casual flow of money (read bribe) was not the done thing in her house. Right from the childhood, she has seen her parents, living within their means and not being ashamed of it. They lived how they wanted, listening and trusting their mind and not the mob’s. Making and breaking their own rules, not going by what are “in things” and “out things.” I remember one incident. Her father was eating out at some restaurant, and as usual he was using the best fork, the nature has endowed the human kind, his fingers. The waiter was from U.P. and his fellows were making fun of him, “Tere yahan log fork, knife se khana nahi jante”(Your folks don’t know how to use fork and knife). The waiter felt humiliated and isolated. He came to his guest’s table and pointed out politely, “Sahib, the forks and spoons are here!” The sahib was listening to everything. He replied, “Go and tell your friends, I have used these God given fork in London, Paris, Italy, Geneva and in Hamburg too! What do you think, I will imitate Firungis in India?” No doubt, waiter’s day was made.

I think her parents taught her not only to be an independent thinker but to stand her ground too. But I think every one is not as fortunate as she is. Most of Indian youths have observed their parents to offer and accept bribe as daily routine. Some of us never purchased stationary. Most of the time, Papas bring it from office. If we want print outs or Photostats, ok go to daddy’s office. Mamma herself don’t know how much money is there in the safe. How Mamma’s trunk is full of clothes? That doesn’t matter. What is significant is her trunk and jewellery boxes are full. Means to fill them can be damned. It’s difficult to keep track of liberal donations for “Chai Paani.” Most of our youths grew up seeing daily, “Chalta hai” attitude followed religiously by their parents. Day in and day out they watch parents resorting to unfair means, be it telephone connection or applying for a passport.

HOW CAN ANYONE EXPECT FROM THAT CHILD that abruptly he would change into an honest, upright, no-nonsense attitude donning youth? How can he shake off all those formative years speedily? How can he / she be able to transform completely? Isn’t it too much to expect from him/her? When the entire generation has failed to throw up able leader of national and international stature and transform India to a great power, how can they blame today’s youth? By this, aren’t they masking their own failure? Their parents had given our parents an Independent India. And what they did with that country? They put India ahead in corruption list, communalism, nepotism, and giant government enterprises, which ultimately proved white elephants. What was that generation’s most serious failure? A particular mindset, that if we are electing a particular government, then we are entitled to free power, free irrigation, all our credits should be waived off and everything should be subsidized. They imparted that mindset to poor and needy. No need to take initiative. Everything should be taken care of by government.

Previous generation put us in denial mode that nothing can be done, they have made the system too rotten and stink is everywhere. At least, current generation knows how to work hard and play hard. On and often, many of us contribute for some good cause too. We don’t waste our time in looking for government jobs. We don’t hesitate in venturing out and trying something new. Well, in that process, sometimes we fall flat and hurt ourselves, but we know how to get up and fight again. Hopefully we will prove to be a better example to the next generation.

Arming buffoons (with due apology to buffoons) with Power!

Panchayat asks husband-wife to become brother-sister!

Is it a joke that they will force a lawfully wedded husband and wife to live like brother and sister? That too, when the wife, sorry “the sister” is pregnant with the child of her “soon to be brother.”

When we agreed for the Panchayati Raj, we did not bargain for the perpetuation of rotten customs and social evils. They have passed this verdict claiming that their marriage was “Sagotra Marriage.” The husband and wife belong to the same lineage. It means they have descended from the same sage born eons ago! They are hell bent of this logic then why don’t they dig a bit deeper. To their horror they will find out, we all are brothers and sisters, because according to Hindu mythology, after great destruction, only Manu survived. And he started new life on this earth with the help of a very beautiful nymph “Shardha.” If this logic is applied, none of us can ever marry because we are all brothers and sisters basically and Panchayat members themselves are culprits of propagating the same offence. They too should treat their wives like sisters!

When we were studying management, each and every professor highlighted the importance of “decision making.” Some went to the extent of declaring that “decision making” is not an ordinary capability. Everybody is not vested with such an exceptional ability.

But those who are not confined to one company but govern the whole nation, don’t realize this fact. Day in and day out, we read about the atrocities committed by members of Panchayati Raj. Here I am not raising questions about the relevance of Panchayati Raj. I am not advocating that this institution should be done away with. This will only result in piling of more cases in already overburdened Indian Courts.

There must be a mechanism and it should be strictly implemented that if they dole out punishments like hanging lovers belonging to different castes, parading a woman naked in front of whole village or something similar on those lines, they must be made to pay and pay dearly. It should serve as an example for the other Panchyatai Raj institutions. What’s the harm, if onlookers too are booked under punishable offence!

I have yet to come across, where delegation of power is used and abused in such a manner. According to the constitution, 1/3rd of the total number of seats are reserved for women candidates in Panchayati elections. But in most of the cases they prove to be proxy candidates. All the power is exercised by their husbands and in-laws. We Indians as a nation has become expert in exploiting the loopholes, be it remixing of old songs, cracking competitive exams or criminals fighting elections! Soon we will start consultancy firms, “How in best possible way, you can exploit the loopholes in our/your system” In fact we can regain the status of being the world power again in such consultancy. No power on earth can surpass this capability of Indians. Our consultancy firms will be considered best on this planet. So maybe in one more area, we need to inform others where the real experts can be found.

Hymenoplasty

Once I read somewhere, “Professional credibility is like virginity, once you lost it you never get it back.”
But during this disguised Behenjis and Bhai-sahibs era, the author has to think of some other simile. I was reading a leading weekly. As the sun comes out and the darkness has to hide in a corner till the evening returns, same was happening with me.

I often read surveys and different opinion polls. These opinion polls made me accept that India is really changing. I almost believed that today guys don’t care whether their bride /partner is a virgin or not. They proclaim proudly if I can have a past life, so can she! But some anti hero is always out there in one form or another to jolt me out of my reverie. The guys are refusing to grow up. Nothing beats the feeling to be the first!

It’s not one of my wistful thinking, but I chanced upon an article on “Hymenoplasty.” They introduced it something like this, “Hymenoplasty (reconstruction of the hymen) can repair the hymen as if nothing ever occurred.” Wow! Kudos to the ostrich mentality of both the species of this earth.

I thought the guys have reconciled with the fact that what they are getting into. But no, some males savor the conquests! So this surgery to fool them entirely and massaging their ego! Due to them the business of such surgeons are burgeoning.

But these are not the issues. What prompts me to write this post was, do we have to resort to cheating and forgery to establish the foundation of a solid, loving and lifelong relationship? If we place such a high virtue on virginity then why not take hold of our bio-chemical needs? Why fooling around? And if we like what we are doing then why not accept it and be comfortable? What is the need to be a Sati-Savitri, if you can’t be one? But it seems we Indians alone can’t lay claim to the copyright to hypocrisy. We have so many counterparts. The surgeons specializing in hymenoplasty are spread all over the world.